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So your parents suspect (rightfully so) that you’re a total fucking loser?

Good!

That means I can show you how to use neuro-linguistic programming to brainwash your parents into thinking otherwise.

Ready!?

I don’t care, we’re starting anyway.

Drugs

This should be obvious

but for the slower among us

you’re going to need drugs

a lot of drugs

Cool Baby
Kitchen Utensils

Next you’re going to need to get your hands on some kitchen utensils.

This is for the aforementioned drugs obviously.

Seriously if I have to explain everything, this isn’t going to work.

Accept your fate as friggin jagoff & take off bub.

I don’t mean to sound harsh but this is going to start getting really tedious if I have to tell you what the fork is for.

And make sure it’s good fork too, not some loser ass fork like you, if you were a fork.

The fork should be able to pork hot babes at a moments notice.

If you’re still confused about the fork, please visit here.

NEXT

Throw all that shit away you friggin dufous!

Drugs are for losers you idiot.

Make sure you do it in front of parents though so they know that you’re down.

The whole process though, drive them in their van to buy the drugs, then go to some boutique kitchen store to get that other stuff and then throw it all away in front of them into a BFI bin or something and then set the bin on fire.

Keep the fork though.

If the fork is on fire, hop in the bin and get it out. That was a good fork.

 

Where was I?

Oh right!

The Fork.

Greco Roman

Fork usage dates back to ancient Rome.

I found that image to the left by googling “Greco Roman”

It’s the first thing that came up so were going with it.

Romans were from Rome.

Rome. Forks. Roman forks.

Drugs.

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